"Sometimes we have to fight, but there is one fight that delivers us. And no other person, no disease, no pain offers such a powerful adversary as... yourself.
So many people have been defeated after struggling for years with their own subconscious; most were not even aware of the struggle they were so lost in.
Some of those that do know reason away this powerful opponent with a million excuses and other times the battle is postponed until the fantasy of... tomorrow.
But no 'new beginning', no emigration, no retail god, and no half measure will win this fight. No - this one you have to face.
However the fight is brought to you - Whatever the challenge -
how you love, who you are, what you eat, what you build around you, what you accept and what you do not, or any other aspect of life; true freedom only comes after this particular battle.
Love yourself indeed, but show yourself worthy of that love and that love will mean so much more to you. So much that it will deliver you the ultimate freedom that you can only ever know when you have looked into the ultimate abyss and come out victorious: The abyss within you.
And I can tell you now that that victory is the greatest you will ever know. That freedom is the sweetest you will ever taste. And the person you find inside will stand by you always.
Yes I will teach you to love. But first I will teach you to fight."
I thought I would write down the prerequisites of self development so that anybody contemplating the journey would fully understand that it is not a magic art; you need to commit to it on your part. So if you are sitting comfortably...
I'm here for my clients 24/7. I'm committed. If you are too, then we have synergy.
"Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.”"
The other day I found a reminder of that responsibility. I came across an old excerpt from a values statement I had once written: "I have brought children into this world, and so I guide them until they no longer wish to be guided, and love them eternally. But whilst I lead them, we learn from each other."
Learning can take as much if not more discipline than teaching, and so we still need it ourselves if we are to learn from our children. Discipline to listen when we are tired, when we may not always want to hear, and when we are sure we know better. When I am able to really listen in those moments it is amazing what I learn. As a parent you develop that discipline: to listen carefully to what somebody is actually telling you, and to be open minded to new ideas, no matter how little experience the person producing them may yet have in life.
Because often fresh eyes have the greatest vision.
If you have suffered any form of mental health issues, you probably have a good working knowledge of what it's like to feel trapped. I've known it myself, and descriptions like "no light at the end of the tunnel", "no way out", and "surely there is more to life than this?", all come to mind. Then there is the anxiety and the increasing loss of self esteem and confidence that can make it even tougher. But there is no reason to stay feeling that way, and every reason to take control and move on with your life. I call this reason becoming 'Fluid'.
Anybody who has been on one of the Miynd courses has heard me describe the art of becoming fluid. Fluid is a state at which we no longer react against life - where we are not creating friction with ourself or our surroundings. But it does not indicate a passive existence either; A tireless stream of water will at first seek out the path of least resistance so it can get on with it's flow, but then mould even the toughest rock to suit itself over time. That is how I define Fluid. An attitude that brings results.
Focusing on going where you want to go, Realizing the steps you need to take, and Leveraging the most out of the resources you already have are the cornerstones of the Miynd approach, and these include the steps to feeling content. You can now get to that point with support, encouragement, and people who have been where you are. Click on the link to see how Miynd Online Courses teach you to move beyond the anxiety and the feeling of being trapped that comes with mental health problems, and teach you how to become fully responsible for your own happiness. In turn, you can find the confidence, self esteem, and knowledge to be able to live life on your own terms.
If you can hear the call, it's time to respond to it. James
"To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him." Buddha
One of the corner stone philosophies of Miynd breaks down your approach to anything into three core perspectives:
1 – Focus
This section covers what you need to strengthen and take control of your focus. As you know, this is very important - as whatever your sub-conscious focuses on you will steer towards, so think of this as investing in your future. Every morning can start with setting your focus, so you don’t miss a trick and are open to the right opportunities throughout your day.
2 – Realisation
Once you have direction and you are starting to gravitate towards what you want, you can start to look at the resources that you already have and realise their full potential. This then is working with the moment – maximising everything you have available in your present day. Miynd supplies a large toolbox of skills throughout courses and personal sessions, and this is the time to really use them.
3 – Leverage
Your experience in life up until this point has even more to offer than you think . Let go of what is no longer useful and use your evening/spare time to create a wealth of positive experience from events in your life so far. It is only a matter of finding different perspectives. How you perceive your past will complete the circle and help to define how you live your future...
The best relationships are when two people are both in a good place, secure in themselves etc, and so when they come together they find synergy. But they are fine apart sometimes too. To get to that place, you need to focus on getting yourself in a confident and happy place based on you (internalising) and not based on something or somebody external of you (externalising). Classic examples are:
1) A person goes out in the evening for a good night out. they go out with the intention of meeting somebody (externalising - the good feeling is based on 'the other person') but they seldom do. However, they go out just to have a good time regardless (internalising - the good feeling comes from themselves) and chances are they will meet somebody.
2) Boyfriend starts to wander and girl tries harder and harder to please him etc. Relationship is now unbalanced and thus becoming unhealthy (with certain rare exceptions). Boy feels pressured and leaves. OR Girl is caring etc but also has a healthy concentration on her own life and well being. In this scenario boyfriend either becomes interested again as girl is acting strong, independent, and confidently, or he goes. If he goes the chances are he was going anyway and girl has actually lost less than what she thought she had.
That last sentence may seem harsh, but once you accept you cannot control others, only yourself, then you actually gain great strength and freedom. It really is a case of giving somebody the freedom to be with you. If he/she goes then you may be sad, but you can move on to something more meaningful.
Many people come to me to say that if they could just meet that special person they would lose weight, be rich, be happy etc etc. The truth is the other way around: Work on yourself and the good relationships will come to you.
If the above sounds great in theory, but not so easy in practice, you may need some help taking control of your life from within.
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were." Richard Bach
This is your call to action. Your time to begin. All that you have come to understand so far now comes together to create an unstoppable synergy within you. If you have the drive to live life on your own terms, and if you can follow a plan to achieve something, then this is the route to make it happen. And you will make it happen if you follow this plan.
Miynd Phoenix consists of six Modules that individually cover every detail of a methodology that will put you in control of your life. A complete approach that will change your situation, whether that is a completely new life or just a solution to certain issues. These Modules take the first three courses to a more practical level; the resulting wisdom is then channeled through your actions and into tangible results – switching the emphasis from learning to doing.
All of this is accomplished through an empirical approach to self-actualization that can be followed on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis; flexible enough to be realistic but demanding enough to deliver... and it starts right now.
So let’s go... and begin with an overview of the 6 Phoenix Modules:
1. Get a New Identity
Think about what it is you do want, and what it is you don’t want. Start to understand why you have experienced life the way you have so far, and be totally honest (but fair) with yourself: it’s time for some clarity as to what is going on. Next, you are going to have to do things differently now if you want to have a different life in the future, and this starts with some simple but effective changes in your daily routine. Soon enough, you yourself will have started to change...
2. Embrace Change
I always start a new program by making it clear that change will require having to change something. This may sound a little obvious, but it is not obvious enough. Many people would like to change but don’t want to do anything too demanding to make that happen. By becoming fluid you not only accept that there will be change and that you will be doing it, but you embrace it as your natural environment. This new perspective makes everything else much easier.
3. Focus: your New Religion
There is no tool in the book that is more important to you than this. Period. Control the focus in your subconscious mind and you will very quickly go from strength to strength. By increasing your confidence and faith in yourself, building self respect and discipline, and going out there and getting what you want: destiny can be won. Focus really is the pen with which you write your future.
4. See things Differently
There is an old saying that ‘the difference between winners and losers is how winners deal with losing’. This course is an individual journey and that means not everything can be foreseen; things will sometimes get tough. It is during these times more than ever that you will grow belief in yourself, as every time you use what you have learnt you will come through the storm stronger. Sometimes it is not that things are going wrong – just that they are going differently. As you become more fluid, ‘different’ is no longer a problem.
5. Master Resource Management
If you want to take control of life you must take control of certain resources, and these are the crucial ones: Time, Energy (health), Relationships, and Money. Once you start to really live, the first thing that will hit you is that you will want more and more energy to do all of the things you want to do, better relationships, and more time and money to make things happen..
6. Be Unreasonable Occasionally
After fully understanding how to become harmonious... learn how not to be. There is a time when you need to be able to move outside of what is reasonable in order to achieve. This can be the one area where people become the most confused, as sometimes we are unreasonable without valid cause or purpose. But if you pick your moments, have primed your underlying focus, and act with boldness, you can win the day.
Click on the Modules and Audios page to find out more, or contact James through the contact page
Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought
A great way to pass an eternity or two in debate is to ask the question, ‘what is the meaning of life?’ Although it is a question most commonly associated with teenage years and mid-life crises, it is always there in the back of our minds. And many, many, lifetimes have indeed been spent trying to really understand the question, let alone formulate the answer. Why do we ask such a question? Why is it so important to us that it has been the number one question since the dawn of our time as conscious human beings. Why are we here?
The answer is often dependent upon our current internal and external situation, and thus with the population of the Earth being a little over seven billion, you would probably get just over seven billion different answers. And this is exactly how it should be. But the actual problem with this question is not in finding the answer, but in how the question is asked. Viktor Frankl pointed out that when it is put as simply as ‘What is the meaning of life?, it suggests an answer that considers an abstract solution for the whole of humanity; some sort of mission for the human race which exists beyond the world that we know. To find the true answer to this question however, we must direct it at ourselves as a unique human being – which each of us are.
The meaning of life is actually a very personal thing that adapts as we grow. As we make this journey through life we mature and our view of the world often evolves as we ourselves change, so we surely need a meaning that changes also? Over time, your understanding of yourself, your body, your partner, your finances, your time, your everything changes. And that therefore includes your meaning of life. So when we consider what the meaning of life is, let us first define the question more accurately as: What is the meaning of life for you, right now?
When we change the emphasis from searching for some pseudo religious 'answer to everything in the universe', and remember that the universe exists for all intents and purposes as a uniquely personal experience to each of us anyway, then the question becomes a much more personal one.
But why bother asking the question at all? Do we not get up and get on with our day anyway, with the routine and all of the non-routine challenges we face throughout our life? Do we actually need a reason to live, especially in a world that increasingly appears to favour materialism, consumerism, and hedonism? As it turns out, yes we do.
Throughout history man and woman kind has beaten near impossible odds, survived the unimaginable, and shown extraordinary spirit in the face of overwhelming suffering... when there has been reason enough to do so. Conversely people have died of a broken heart, had a heart attack within a year of retiring, or simply laid down and given up if they felt they had no further reason to live. It seems that we do indeed very much need a reason to live – and if it is not so apparent in our daily existence, it certainly becomes so during the periods when times are tough and we need to survive the challenges that life throws at us. Strangely enough - as the world evolves - this need for a meaning in life is becoming even more noticeable than it has been in the past.
And that is where you can find that something that may have appeared to be missing so far. That feeling that something is not quite aligned as it should be – that perhaps there is more to what you can be than what you are feeling now. When Bill Gates (Founder of Microsoft) and Eric Shmidt (CEO of Google) both declared publically that “Everybody needs a coach”, they were speaking from experience, because they know that a good coach (whether a life coach or executive coach etc), can get you further, faster, and more efficiently than you may manage on your own. And why wouldn’t you want somebody there who is driven for you to succeed?
A good coach is driven to help you fully define and maximise your own personal meaning in life, to allow you to make the most of yours.
"He who has a why (to live) can bear almost any how”, and it has been proven again and again." FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
Somebody showed me the quote below recently, and I instantly connected with it. According to Confucius, I haven't worked for quite some time. In fact, I may have only ever worked for brief periods throughout most of my life - not because every job I have done was so great - but because of the state of mind I took into most of them.
As our world changes so rapidly now, I see more and more people starting to slowly understand a different currency. As stress in the workplace increases (it has now overtaken the common cold for the number one cause of absence) and financial extremes grow even further apart, people are being forced to evaluate their well-being - to look to their deeper values. In essence an understanding that financial income alone for most people is not going to deliver the life that it has previously advertised.
In our world, money is an important consideration. But it is not the only one. More and more I have been working with clients to find balance in their life, and this is essential. But just as importantly I have been working with people to find a desire for balance, because if you do not completely believe in the reasons for the changes you are making then you will not be truly motivated to produce results. The following failure or poor outcome can produce the opposite effect, and at best waste your time and efforts.
The key to implementing balance is to remember your values. When you consider making a change in your life and you think about all it could bring you, spend at least the same amount of time being clear about the values that are driving you to change, and not only the rewards. Because having a clear focus on your values, and realizing them in a form where they will assist you, will help you to leverage all of the resources you need to succeed. With this in mind, you can start that new job or change your perspective on your current one if you need to, and thus give up work...
"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."